My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
