ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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