so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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