he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
