Screwed.edu
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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