i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
