so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
