I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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