my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
