please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
do herpes really smell.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
