I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
