he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
