The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
