Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
