you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
