She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
