I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize