Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
