let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
