So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
