I think I am morally bankrupt
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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