omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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