I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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