The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
