I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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