Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
