Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
