You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
