He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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