3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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