There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
