Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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