I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
