i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
