who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
