I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm really into asian looking animals
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
