Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He? As in you personified your dick?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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