Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize