I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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