ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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