If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize