btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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