i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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