It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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