The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
