thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
