Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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