Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
