In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
