Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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