I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
