I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
