OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
