Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
birth control should be required to get into college
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
