I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
