so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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