Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
