she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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