just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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