smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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