Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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