Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
