I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
